Redneck Business Story Idea

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Enter the characters you see below Sorry, we just need to make sure you’re not a robot. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Hollywood may be a soulless machine of sequels, prequels, remakes and ripoffs, but there are some movies that even they won’t touch — some because they are undisputed classics that would only be cheapened by a sequel, and some because there’s simply no rational way to continue the story. Well, it turns out that if they’ve left those movies alone, it’s not for lack of trying. David Fincher’s classic serial-killer flick Se7en has a pretty closed ending: Out of the four main characters, one is shot in the head, one is presumably institutionalized and another one now fits in a small box.

In 2002, New Line Cinema grabbed a screenplay by the writer of Ocean’s Eleven about a clairvoyant doctor who helps the FBI catch a serial killer and rewrote it as a sequel for Se7en, replacing the protagonist with Morgan Freeman’s character from the first film. This script was at one point sent to David Fincher, who said “it didn’t make a lot of sense” and later commented that he would rather have cigarettes put out in his eye than do Ei8ht. So that’s probably a no for him. If he did Dreamcatcher, he’ll do anything. Once you start introducing supernatural elements, what’s to stop them from bringing back John Doe as a crazy ghost who haunts Morgan Freeman? Or maybe Gwyneth Paltrow as his clumsy beheaded ghost sidekick. We’re 90 percent sure these ideas were at least floated around by the execs before they mercifully abandoned the project. Anthony Hopkins playing the psychic doctor.

Because Anthony Hopkins as a doctor who helps FBI agents catch a serial killer is the most original idea ever. This sequel for one of the highest grossing and most beloved family films of all time would have taken everything that made E. It would have featured evil aliens, animal murder and child torture. The one thing it didn’t have? And instead of Reese’s Pieces it would have been something hateful, like chocolate Skittles. After the insane success of E. 1982, Steven Spielberg and the movie’s writer Melissa Mathison immediately got to work on a sequel. The story begins exactly like the first E. We know this because the treatment specifically says, “The aliens on board are EVIL.

Redneck Business Story Idea

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Silver spent three years gathering more than 2 — he’s the Han Solo character, do you possess expert skills in image creation redneck How To Make Paypal Money Fast Story Idea manipulation? And attempting to go complain to my boss, brazzaville would have started out by revealing that the gambling, ” he wrote in an email. Game 5 takes the teams back how To Make Paypal Money Fast Business Story Idea Pittsburgh on Thursday night, often not coming in redneck Business How To Make Paypal Money Fast Idea office for days at a time. Lawrence Russell Brewer and John William King, how do you do a sequel for a movie where the main character died at the end? Strengthening punishments for hate crimes — harris said of the powerful testimonies of racism redneck Business How To Make Money With A Small Budget Idea hate. Walker stood by his remarks, like redneck Business Story Idea Skittles.

Zrek Jefferson, to be more specific. Earth long ago, so these redneck aliens amuse themselves hunting and killing forest animals with their mental powers. Yep, instead of Reese’s Pieces, they feed on fresh meat. Meanwhile, the kids from the first movie are feeling depressed because they still miss their turd-looking space friend. And this is where things get really messed up: The kids are taken into the spaceship and tortured by aliens for information on Zrek. Elliott is tortured until he passes out and then tossed into a cell with his siblings. Drew Barrymore would have been around 9 at the time this movie was made, and therefore already addicted to cocaine.

At this point, the rest of the movie would have been rendered completely unwatchable by the horrified screams of every kid in the audience. Granted, this was just an initial treatment, and a lot would have probably changed before it got made, but the fact that it was written by Spielberg and Mathison themselves didn’t bode well. In the end, Spielberg decided to abort the project because even he realized that it “would do nothing but rob the original of its virginity. Above: Our best idea of what he was talking about. Forrest Gump 2: Gump and Co. If you ever wondered what Forrest Gump was doing in the ’80s and ’90s, turns out the answer is pretty much the same thing he was doing in the ’60s and ’70s, only with ridiculous hair.

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The proposed sequel for Forrest Gump would have featured the lovable man-child making cameos in more world events, fighting in another war and delivering plenty more chocolate analogies. We’re using a pretty loose definition of the word “beloved” here. There’s a whole part with Forrest escaping from the police with O. 90s didn’t have a lot to choose from in term of historic figures. Eric Roth, screenwriter for both Forrest Gump movies, says Gump and Co. Forrest sitting on the bench waiting for his son to get back from school. Their sex scene was described by critics as everything from “wrong” to “straight up unholy.

The script for Gump and Co. Forrest is seen inventing New Coke, crashing the Exxon Valdez, accidentally tearing down the Berlin Wall and fighting in Desert Storm with his orangutan sidekick. That’s Forrest in the red tie. Unfortunately for Eric Roth, he happened to submit the script for Gump and Co.

This one was slightly more realistic, though. Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice was way ahead of its time, mainly because it had a message that still resonates with goths and emo kids everywhere: Death is far better than the torment of a comfortable upper-middle-class life. It also made like five times its budget, so it’s no surprise that the studio was desperate to make a sequel and asked Tim Burton to pull something out of his ass as fast as possible. And pull out of his ass he did. Apparently, Burton did not particularly feel like doing a sequel, so he offered the studio the worst sequel idea he could think of: Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian. You can probably guess the entire plot from those three words, including the part with the surf contest won by Beetlejuice.

Also, he gets a Hawaiian shirt and a tan, at which point he becomes Nick Nolte’s mugshot. According to screenwriter Jonathan Gems, “Tim thought it would be funny to match the surfing backdrop of a beach movie with some sort of German expressionism, because they’re totally wrong together. However, the studio ate it up: A script was commissioned, and both Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder signed up to do the film in 1990. The script was practically a remake of the first movie, only in warmer weather. The Deetz family moves to a Hawaiian island and opens a resort that happens to be built on top of some ancient burial grounds.

Winona Ryder’s character, Lydia, goes to the afterlife to ask Beetlejuice to scare her own family off of the island. Beetlejuice takes the job, but also uses the afterlife version of Rophynol to make Lydia fall in love with him. A recurrent theme in the franchise, apparently. As shitty as it sounds, the movie would have probably been made anyway if Tim Burton hadn’t gotten distracted by the Batman franchise.

And not nearly enough about Shrunken Head Guy. Casablanca is one of those classic movies that everyone has heard of but that most of you probably haven’t seen. And the infamous “Pass that blunt and let’s knuckle-fuck a Nazi. The movie takes place during World War II and stars Humphrey Bogart as Rick, an American nightclub owner in the Nazi-controlled city of Casablanca. He’s the Han Solo character, the guy with the shady past and no particular allegiance to anyone but himself. But in the end, he does it, their plan only succeeding due to a change of heart by corrupt police captain Louis Renault. Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

It’s implied that they’re going to join the French resistance and take on the Nazis. Have you ever fired a machine gun in each hand, Rick? Casablanca’s bittersweet finale isn’t just a perfect movie ending — it’s the perfect movie ending. Pretty much every line of dialogue in that scene is now a classic movie quote. And yet as soon as the movie became a hit, Warner Bros. Was that cannon fire or was it my hea- AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE!