Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. In the movies, bank robbers and burglars are often charming rogues who always stay one step ahead of the police, but in real life they’re usually just sloppy, terrible meth heads who get arrested within minutes of attempting their first heist. However, every so often a real-life bandit or group of bandits manages to outshine their cinematic counterparts how To Make Money Fast Heists a scheme so clever, so bold, or so insane that we can’t help but be in awe of them. On the morning of November 6, 2012, a gang of six apocalyptic marauders came blazing up onto the second floor of London’s Brent Cross mall on a fleet of motorcycles and robbed the shit out of a jewelry store before how To Make Money Fast Heists out through the mall’s front entrance and Quantum Leaping back into the netherverse, never to be seen again. The raiders stormed into the shopping mall dressed head to toe in jet black riding armor and Snake Eyes helmets and roared up to Fraser Hart jewelers two to a bike, where the pillion riders hopped off wielding axes and bats and proceeded to smash the store into fucking dust.
1 million in Cartier and Rolex watches, loose diamonds, and an undisclosed number of those Jane Seymour “Forever Heart” pendants. Then they leaped back onto their doom cycles and thundered off, screaming at random bystanders and dropping loot like cartoon bandits in their wake. Mall security sprang into action and locked down the entire mall just in time to prevent the bikers from returning and stealing anything else and keep the panicked, terrorized throngs of mid-morning shoppers trapped inside. We assume their biker babe girlfriends got the best proposals in history. The phrase “art theft” is more likely to call to mind The Thomas Crown Affair, Vincent Cassel doing parkour, or Catherine Zeta-Jones’ butt getting attacked by laser beams than earth-shattering explosions and burst-firing machine pistols. Somewhere in the world, a Batman costume began to cry. Police and emergency crews, distracted by the dual car firebombings, failed to notice the commotion at the museum in time to stop them, but the thieves scattered nails around the museum entrance to thwart any oncoming police cars just in case.
The police later found the boat abandoned in a lake in southern Stockholm, but it took several more years before the paintings were all finally recovered. Over a dozen criminals and shady art dealers were ultimately thrown in jail for their part in the heist, presumably by an enraged Andy Garcia. But, honestly, who could blame them? You just have to own it. This past May at the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa, thousands of teenage girls gathered to watch Justin Bieber style his hair like a Lilith Fair headliner and do whatever it is that he does to hypnotize them into giving him their parents’ money.
Investigators believe the break-in was pulled off by a small group of people who had obtained fake security certificates to gain access to the backstage areas of the stadium, which FNB itself admits is relatively easy to do. You can tell by his official security shirt. So, a handful of people infiltrated the stadium’s laid-back secondary employee screening process just prior to the concert and were able to cordon off the area above the cash room without anybody thinking anything was amiss — if one person is where they aren’t supposed to be, that raises suspicion, but if a group of people are standing around someplace, you assume they know what they’re doing. The opening shift of a bank on the second story of a massive high-rise in Chelembra, India, came to work the morning of New Year’s Day 2008 to discover a giant hole carved into the middle of the vault room floor and 2. 5 million rupees missing from their safes. The bandits cut their way through the floor from a space below the bank that they had rented out under the pretense of building a restaurant.
I’m sorry, we’re out of the fish. Might I suggest a gigantic plate of money instead? The thieves didn’t simply steal the money and whistle off into the sunset, either — this was one of the largest heists in Indian history, which meant the police weren’t going to just shrug their shoulders at the first bad lead and move on to the next case. The cops were going to scorch the damned earth to find that money, so the thieves left several red herrings to throw them off the trail.
The misdirection didn’t work for long, though. Less than two months after the heist, the police intercepted one of the robbers’ cellphone calls and tracked it to a house where all four of the faux restaurateurs were hiding. Most of the booty was recovered and everyone involved got sent to jail. So maybe it wasn’t that great of a plan, after all.
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Ironically, they all had to work the kitchen. In the meantime, the robbers entertained their captives with hilarious antics, such as singing “Happy Birthday” to one of them and releasing three others to the cops in exchange for pizza and soda. The police finally grew tired of their hijinks and stormed the building, only to find the hostages sitting around unsupervised. The bank robbers had completely vanished. And they say, sometimes late at night, you can still hear them steal. A thorough search of the building led the authorities to the basement, where they discovered a hole in the wall covered up with an iron lid.
The hole led into one of Argentina’s many subterranean tunnels and emptied out into the nearby La Plata River, where the thieves had climbed onto a boat and escaped. Sources are unclear, but it is assumed that they took all of the pizza with them. The robbers had left behind almost no clues, except for a few toy guns and a note that claimed they had only stolen “money, not love. Because love don’t cost a thing. However, love apparently costs more than one of the robbers was willing to pay, because his wife dimed him out to the police, resulting in the arrest of everyone involved.